What Men Want?
What do men want? Maybe if we knew more about how they were really thinking, this dating thing wouldn’t be so tough in Los Angeles; and hell, anywhere else for that matter.
So, I decided to interview four men I know. I picked one in his twenties, one in his thirties, one in his forties, and one who is barely in his fifties. All four of these men live in Los Angeles; two of them are natives of Los Angeles and the other two are transplants from back east. Three of the four are college graduates; the fourth has a professional license. One is in the entertainment industry, one works in PR in the corporate world, one is a business man who runs his own company, and one works in the beauty industry. Three of them are single, and one is newly married. They are all well-rounded, successful, intelligent and good looking men.
I posed the same questions to them all. Their answers may or may not surprise you. Regardless, it is food for thought:
1. What do you prefer, Natural Hair or Hair Extensions?
20ish Natural – I like the authentic person, not manufactured.
30ish Natural – One day I had a trail of cheap hair extensions left on my pillow, and it was creepy!
40ish Natural – I hate when my fingers get caught in the knots in the extensions, and natural hair is easier and more fun when having sex.
50ish Natural – I don’t like feeling the lumps in the back of the head, but will date both; but given the choice, natural.
2. Which do you like better, Fake Boobs or Real Boobs?
20ish Real – Same as the last question, I like the real authentic person, not a manufactured one.
30ish Real – I feel more connected to the girl when they are natural.
40ish I like real boobs, but I like the way fake boobs look; I am going with Fake.
50ish I like them both.
3. Okay, so then Fake Boobs or Flat Chested?
4. Do you want a girl to have a Bikini Wax, Shaved, or au Natural?
20ish I guess I like Waxed, but it depends on the girl. I want her to be comfortable the way she wants to be. I would defer to what she wants so that she is comfortable.
30ish Bikini Wax – I like just a landing strip!
40ish Bikini Wax or Shaved, both are fine. Just no more natural, that is out.
50ish Bikini Wax.
5. Which do you prefer, a College Degree or Life Degree?
20ish College Educated – it shows that mentally she is capable to handle challenges. Plus having an education make it easier to find jobs globally, and to be involved in discussions with varying people, and to be able to intellectually contribute.
30ish Life Degree – I like when girls look up to me, and I find girls with college degrees tend to be more entitled. I like it when a girl asks me for advice.
40ish Life Degree – I find girls that have gone to college are more opinionated about everything, and less free spirited. Life Degree girls tend to live more in the moment and aren’t afraid to enjoy life.
50ish Life Degree- I don’t care if the girl has gone to college, some of the most successful people do not have a college degree.
6. Do you care what kind of a job she has or if she is career oriented?
20ish Absolutely! I care less about what she does, as long as she is passionate about what she is doing. For me it doesn’t matter what she does, as long as she is passionate about what she is doing and excited about her career path.
30ish Absolutely! She needs to be working towards something, not just sitting with her hand out like every other gold digging girl in this town.
40ish This is a tough one. I dated a doctor once who was so tired at the end of the day she didn’t have any energy for fun once she came home. Sometimes I think when women are too career oriented they lose some of their ‘fun’ energy. But I care that she does something, some kind of a job. For example if she is an aspiring writer and is working as a waitress, I would dig that; just as long as she has goals and is doing something.
50ish Yes, I want someone to have a job being interested in accomplishing something; it makes her more independent.
7. Do you care how much money she makes?
20ish Yes, I want someone who understands money and what it takes to make it. I care less about what she makes as long as she understands the significance of it.
30ish No, as long as she is doing something.
40ish No, I don’t.
50ish No, I don’t care how much money she makes as longs as she is doing something and works. I wouldn’t discriminate against someone based on how much money she makes. I would rather her be working then being a gold digger.
8. Do you care if she works out?
20ish Yes – It shows that she knows how to take care of herself first before she takes care of everyone and everything else in her life. I don’t care if it’s Yoga, or weights, as long as she takes care herself.
30ish Absolutely – Working out helps to release toxins, and keeps her from smelling bad lol!
40ish Yes – They have to care about their body, it is their little temple. It shows me their care about themselves. Plus, women look better when they work out.
50ish Yes – Because I work out every day; plus it’s important to be healthy. It shows me that she takes care of herself.
9. What body type do you find the most attractive in a woman?
20ish I like athletic girls, but with maybe an extra five pounds on them, not a total hard body. Someone who still has some curves, and is feminine.
30ish Curvy, not fat, but I don’t like skinny. Curvy, I like a little meat on the bones.
40ish Curvy, Voluptuous – I like boobs and a butt, someone with a little meat on her body, but not fat. I feel like sex is more fun with someone who is curvy, it’s like I can be more playful; when they are too thin, I worry about breaking them.
50ish Not to thin, I want someone who has some meat on her, but not fat, basically a healthy body type.
10. What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?
20ish Having a passion for life: Loving life, loving the world, having a positive passion for life.
30ish Be a woman! Girls these days pretend to be independent, except they expect you to pick up the tab and pay for every meal, how about reciprocating? Maybe cooking me dinner once in a while, or taking me out every now and then …be a woman!
40ish Personality – I like someone who is fun, smart and who can make me laugh!
50ish Someone who physically takes care of themselves, who is nice and outgoing, and confident in who they are.
11. What is the biggest thing that turns you off about a woman?
20ish Lacking goals, having no idea what they want to do with their lives, it’s a turn off. Also I don’t like when women make assumptions about who I am. When someone judges you, like for what you are wearing, and doesn’t even get to know you.
30ish If they smell like fish (down there)! In other words, if they aren’t hygienic.
40ish Self-absorbed women: The girls who are too busy checking themselves out to hear what you are saying. You talk to these girls and they are so caught up in themselves they don’t even know what the conversation is about. Self-absorbed women, and also women who are neurotic, they drive me nuts.
50ish Women who are bitter and angry: So many women are bitter and angry because their life hasn’t worked out the way they wanted it to, or they are still single and unhappy and feel like they have missed their ‘chance’ in life, or are divorced and angry.
12. What about her friends might make you run from her?
20ish If she has friends that don’t take a stand for her. For example, if she is doing a blog like yours or something, and her friends don’t support it or try to undermine it and tell her that she doesn’t need to do it, and are always putting her down it instead of supporting what she is doing, it turns me off. It makes me feel like she accepts being surrounded by people who don’t support her and are basically treating her badly.
30ish If she tells me a story about a friend who is unmarried and pregnant, or has a kid, and how she tricked the guy into getting pregnant by telling him she was on birth control and wasn’t. That kind of stuff scares me away. Or if she tells me her friends were up doing blow for three days, and leaves herself out of the story, it makes me wonder if she was there and just not telling me.
40ish I hate cock blocs. You know when you are trying to make a move on a girl and her friend distracts her, and gets her interested in something else, like ‘oh look at this cute bag’. If her friends are trying to keep her single, it makes it too hard to get to know her. And makes me feel like she really isn’t interested in getting to know me if she is so easily distracted.
50ish If her friends hang out at bars and clubs, or she does, or if her friends are gold digging girls. It reflects on where she is and what she really wants out of life.
13. Why is dating hard for men in LA?
20ish The perception is that you have to play a game in LA, pretend to be busy and not available, etc. And for me if I am into someone, I don’t think I should have to wait to do something nice, or make time for them; girls seem to get turned off if you are too nice.
30ish Many women in LA are entitled, and they think you should hand them everything and pay for everything. Hey, maybe mature a bit, instead of being greedy little piggy wiggies!
40ish In LA, there as so many women to choose from, so many choices, always so many temptations. It’s hard to pull the trigger and commit because you always worry you might be missing something better.
50ish Women in LA aren’t after real relationships; they are after money and power. You know, there are so many gold diggers out there.
14. How would you describe your ideal woman?
20ish Global, who stands for something; passionate about what they do, and who they are. Women who are self-inspired and fully contributing to the world.
30ish Hot, easy and feminine – I like soft feminine person.
40ish You are going to hate me for this but, I want someone who can cook a nice meal now and then, who will clean, and still knows how to take care of herself and please her man.
50ish A woman who is considerate, smart, caring, giving, and someone who doesn’t judge.
15. What percentage of your friends cheat on their wives/girlfriends and why?
20ish About 70 %. Men start to feel undervalued when girls are non-committal, it’s like they don’t trust men to be loyal, so eventually they stray. Plus there are a lot of beautiful women in LA, so there are a lot of fish in the sea, and many girls to choose from.
30ish I am not sure about the percentage, but I think they cheat because the women nag the shit out of them.
40ish Depends, my friends that are business men are the worst cheaters. But my friends who have jobs like cops, they are too afraid to cheat, even if they are miserable. It’s like they are afraid they might get their dicks cut off.
50ish Fifty percent. Manly because the wives stop having sex with them, also after being with someone a long time, the excitement dies down. It’s exciting to be with someone new.
Final Question: What advice would you give a woman dating in LA
20ish When you go out with a guy on the first date, don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions. You don’t have to wait until the 6th date to find out what the guy is all about. Ask him questions based on what you want out of your life, if that’s kids, whatever, just ask. Don’t waste time waiting for a few dates to ask the important questions about what matters to you for your life.
30ish If you want a nice guy, when you go out on a date, stop talking about your asshole ex-boyfriend that you stayed with for three years – it makes me question you as to why you would stay so long in a shitty relationship, and also makes me realize that you are okay with being treated badly. That’s a turn off. I don’t want to hear bullshit about past relationships; I just want to know you are interested in me and see where it goes.
40ish Beverly Hills is tough because all the girls are looking for money; they don’t even care what the guy looks like half the time. But I would tell them to look at the parents of the guy they are dating and see how the father treats the mom. If the father treats the wife with respect, most likely the guy will treat you well. If the father treats the mom like crap, the guy will likely treat you the same way eventually.
50ish No advice really, it’s a tough city. Don’t be afraid to go online; but try a real dating site like Match.com, not the hook-up sights like Tinder.
So there you have it, unfiltered honest answers from men. I found it interesting that all four men, from four different age groups all had some common complaints and observations about women and dating in LA.
Personally I liked that they all are looking for a healthy partner, not a stick skinny model type. I found it interesting that they all think it is important that a woman is doing something in her life, aspiring to something and has her own goals. And truthfully, I am not surprised that they are sick of all the Gold Diggers in this city. I am a girl, and the gold-digger and hooker chicks irritate the fuck out of me, and make the rest of us look bad – not all LA women are like that.
Say what you want to say, but dating is challenging everywhere and I think some of their ‘honest’ answers might be a good barometer for all the singles ladies out there. Or not. But sometimes if you really want to know what a guy thinks – ask him, instead of trying to get into his head. In my opinion men usually will tell you what they want, if you are brave enough to ask.
Next week I am doing ‘What Women Want’ and we will have women’s perspective on dating, men, relationships and what they want and don’t want. I wonder how different it will be from the men’s responses?? Stay tuned.
Guys, now it’s your turn to learn about us…BUCKLE up boys!
Please feel free to share, email and like this story if you enjoyed it or learned something for it! xo
To read more about LA GOLD DIGGERS, see my story below on Hollywood Hookers
Written by: Janell Martin
Edited by: Brenda Meyer