Ten Reasons the Dating Pool Sucks in LA

How can the Dating Pool suck a city as large as Los Angeles? The combined population of the greater L.A. area is estimated at about 18 million people, and the city of Los Angeles alone boast around 4 million people.  So you would think, in a city with 4 million people, that I could find a soul mate.  I mean, it’s not like I am still living in Brandon Manitoba where only 46,000 people reside.  With all of the millions of men out there, why the hell can’t I find just one?

Well….

• #1 – DISTANCE is the DEVIL – In a town where 5 miles can take 50 minutes in traffic, distance becomes a real issue when dating. I was at an Oscar party and met a really cute AD (Assistant Director), who really liked me, and followed me around like a puppy dog all night. When I found out that he lived in Thousand Oaks, the friend I was with said, “Janell, you hate driving, especially on the freeways, do you really think that you are going to drive 30 miles to meet up with a guy?” He was cute, and I did think about it for a day or two, but truthfully, unless he had a helicopter pad at his house and was going to fly me in, this was a relationship that was never going to work.
• For a minute, I’d even tried dating a guy in Santa Monica, and his place was only about 9 miles from my house. But, in rush hour traffic (between 3:30 and 7:30 pm) I could get lucky and make it in 50 minutes, or get unlucky and it could take 90 minutes. I hated the drive to him, and he hated the drive to me, and …well…we kind of ended up hating each other so ultimately, it didn’t matter. Driving to the airport and flying to see a guy in New York, sometimes seems easier than the 10 to the 405 to the….

• #2 – PROXIMITY PRINCESS – Okay, because I hate to drive far distances, and since I prefer my quality free time not to be spent behind the wheel of my car – my princess mentality has kicked in, and I am really only now dating people who live in close proximity to my part of town. I am sticking to my five-mile radius, so to speak. That radius is composed of Beverly Hills, West Hollywood, Westwood and Culver City; four wonderful cities whose combined population is approximately is 155,000 people. Okay, not 4 million, but still bigger than the dating pool back in Brandon Manitoba. But there still seems to be a problem finding a mate, why?

• #3 – DEMOGRAPHIC DISADVANTAGES – Assuming that half of the 155,000 people are men, that still gives me 77,000 potential men to pull from. However, West Hollywood is the Gay center of Los Angeles. As a result, I have many wonderful Gusbands, but in reality, my dating pool is now dwindled to about 60,000 eligible men.

• #4 – MARRIED DUDES – Out of the remaining 60,000 men, how many of them are single? I am guessing by the number of married men I know, plus the ones that hit on me constantly, that at least half of them are married. As lonely as it can be when you are single, I am not into sharing my clothes – let alone my guy’s ‘junk’  – with another girl, so that brings down my dating pool to approximately 30,000 guys.

• #5 – RICH PLAYER BOYS – Okay, so I do live in a high net-worth part of town. It is expensive as fuck to live here. Many of the men are so busy trying to build successful careers; that they don’t have time to invest real energy into fostering a relationship. So they become serial daters – going from one girl to the next – and whenever the girl starts to demand more from them then they can offer her, they dump her and head back on their serial dating path. Their focus is success – not relationships.
• Plus, sex is easy for guys with money here. There are so many beautiful girls who come from all over the world to be famous; and when becoming famous is a harder task then they thought, many of these girls resort to, hanging out with wealthy men, just so they can support themselves.  The RICH PLAYER BOYS are more than happy to ‘date’ these girls, and these relationships become guilt free hook-ups: men get sex; girls get security – becoming a guilt-free even exchange.   If I were to guess, maybe a third of my eligible dating pool of men are RICH PLAYER BOYS, so now I am down to 20,000 guys.

• #6 – STRUGGLING ARTIST – The ‘Industry’ as we Los Angelites like to refer to the ‘Entertainment Industry’, draws in as many talented, handsome and hot single men, as it does beautiful women. These guys spend their days and night waiting tables, driving Uber, or hell…working as escorts – all while honing their craft, and waiting for their big break to occur. What does this mean for me? It means that if I date one of them that I am likely going to be dating a broke boy (unless he is an escort, and that is just plain icky). And, after having dated my share of hot-cute-struggling hopefuls, I realized that at this point in my life, I need someone who has less problems than me. Therefore, my dating pool has now dwindled to about 15,000 men.

• #7 – BOYTOYS – Cute, younger, men; guys who might be successful in their career, or not. Younger men – 10, 15 or 20 years younger – are always going be a visual distraction. Hello, I am human after all! Regardless, they are way too young to be taken seriously. Unless you want to be labelled a cougar – or just want to play – then the BOYTOYS are not an option. If you want a real relationship – like what I am searching for – a BOYTOY is only a distraction. As my ex-boyfriend once told me, “Janell, you need a man with a plan, not a boy who wants a toy.” So now, I likely have about, 10,000 potential prospects left in my dating pool.

• #8 – OLD FUCKERS – Okay, sorry, but if too young is going nowhere, OLD FUCKERS are definitely going somewhere – like to a retirement home. Sure sure, they may have financial security, and can maybe pay for your dinners and buy you nice gifts. But do you really want to see them naked?? Do you really want to be looking for a car in the next decade or two that is wheelchair accessible? If you date someone who is 15 or 20+ years older than yourself, guess what? They are 15 to 20 years OLDER than you. So when you are 30, 45 or 50 year old men are still handsome and are distinguished looking; but imagine when you hit 60 – dating ‘Daddy’ takes on a whole new look….picture – GRANDPA!!! As I am looking for someone who can still dance, ski, and eat solid foods, I just can’t date an OLD FUCKER! So now, my dating pool is down to…SHIT – 5,000 men or less.

• #9 – SHIKSA SHIT – One of the best things about Los Angeles is that we are a cultural melting pot of various ethnicities and religions. This makes for a wonderful diverse group of people, amazing cultural opportunities, and offers a vast array of fabulous restaurants and various foods at your fingertips. Plus, there are hot foreigners to date; intriguing worldly men who can introduce you to different ways of life and thinking. Sounds great, right?
  • Well, I am still an old-fashionied girl, and in my experience relationships work out better when it is the man who pursues the woman; so I tend to let the boys come to me. My five-mile radius happens to be very full of people from the Jewish faith – trust me, 80 percent of the men I have dated are indeed Jewish.  And what has ended up happening? Most of them won’t marry me because I am not Jewish.  But date, yeah dating the Shiksa is cool.  And, the ones who have wanted to marry me ended up not being right for me.  So, now I have to find a guy that doesn’t mind if I have a Christmas tree; that cuts my dating pool down again.  FUCK…. I’m down to about 2500 men now.

• #10 – So now, here I am with 2500 hopeful bachelors, somewhere in my age range and employed. I have to hope that out of that bunch of men, that: our paths will somehow cross in a city where everyone drives a block instead of walking; or we will bump into each in a city where people really don’t approach each other in real life; or we will magically be hanging out at the same gym-bar-restaurant and manage to meet. But if we do manage to meet, then I still have the hurdle of wanting to be attracted to him physically, finding him intellectually stimulating, and hoping that he is emotionally available.

Basically…. I AM FUCKED!

And the moral of this sucky LA Dating Pool story is:

1. Dating is hard everywhere, and just because the population is higher doesn’t necessarily mean that your chance of finding your perfect match is any easier.
2. Plus, unless I am going to date outside of my five mile-radius, and deal with long drives and less free time – I had better change my name to ‘patience.’
3. And speaking of patience, the more I read, write and think, as I write this BLOG, the more I realize that the right person will come into your life when you are the best you YOU can be. So maybe it doesn’t really matter how many men you have to choose from. Maybe it only matters that you chose yourself and let the rest fall into place.

Below is the audio link for those who prefer to listen! Added photos this time! I hope you enjoy! If you like this story please like on Facebook or share with a friend.  Have a great week! 🙂