Emoticon, Emojis, Texting – Emoticon Ending
Emoticon! Emoji! Emoticons! The world of texting has been taking over by Emoticons. Just when texting has taken all the fun of actually speaking with a person, the emoticon has made it even easier to relay a feeling, a desire, or a need, simply by locating the happy face button 😊 (yep, it looks like that) on the bottom of your keyboard when sending a text. One tap on that little emoticon’s happy smiling face and a plethora of yellow-faced emoticons or pictorial emojis—representing endless feelings or symbolic images— are literally at your fingertips. Endless. ENDLESS I SAY!!
Every emoticon is made by combining various letters, numbers or punctuation marks. For example, everyone knows that a colon: plus a parenthesis) creates 😊 the happy face emoticon. Or that a colon: plus a minus sign – plus a parenthesis (creates ☹ the sad face emoticon. The fact that there are hundreds of emoticons or emojis to chose from tells me that, seriously, the people who went to the effort to actually figure and configure these out were either bored or had too much time on their hands. Regardless, emoticons are here to stay, and like texting, they are not going away.
Personally, I think emoticons are fun, making texting conversations—if you are forced to have them—amusing. I don’t have a problem with the emoticon rage, but I still think that texting should—in my opinion—only be used for a quick interchange of information, as opposed to entire full-length diatribes of endless bubble conversations that suck up my valuable time.
You all may remember a blog I wrote called “Lost in TEXTation”, spouting off all the things that I absolutely find irritating and frustrating about having long text conversations with people —conversations where actual human cell phone dialogue could have happened in 5 minutes, as opposed to 35 minutes of the continual back and forth text bubbles. Text bubbles where dialogue often becomes misconstrued, or where words sound harsher or more indifferent than intended, often resulting in hurt feelings or confusion by one or both of the texters.
I find texting a useful way of communicating an immediate need; for example:
- ‘In restaurant, front booth to the right’
- ‘At work. 5 pm good. Meet you there.’
- ‘Sorry, on phone. Call back in five.’
I don’t want to have a full-length conversation with anyone via text. Not only does it bore me—resulting in me skimming through your texts and perhaps missing pertinent details—it doesn’t allow for the expression that can only be relayed through what is known as—and what I am afraid might soon become a lost art—the human voice. I guarantee, if I speak to you on the phone, in 5-minutes you will know exactly how I feel about something, and the probability of miscommunication is less unlikely to occur. Plus, you will have saved 30 minutes of your valuable life by calling me and eliminating the 35-minute text conversation.
But, my wishes are rarely granted—so, in order to survive the world of texting, emoticons, and emojis, here are a few suggestions. For those of you texting and emoticonING me, PLEASE pay close attention. And, If I don’t know you, feel free to borrow any you might find useful for your own life; plagiarism is totally acceptable.
5 Things that Piss Me Off!
- If you are asking me out via text—and I say yes—please, please, PLEASE don’t send me 57 text messages trying to figure out a day and time to meet up, and then another 37 text messages trying to decide where to eat, especially when in text 37 you suggest a sashimi bar and I told you in text 7 that I hate raw fish. You have my phone number, duh, you are texting me, so pick up the damn phone and call me. You are not only officially annoying me from all of this useless texting, but now I’m starting to think that your intellectual capacities are limited at best, greatly minimizing the chances that you are ever going to get ‘lucky’ with me.
- If I am out with you, why are you texting me? You are sitting across the table from me. USE YOUR WORDS! I can’t tell you how many times I see a group of people together at a restaurant or café, and instead of engaging in conversation— and what I am afraid is soon to be known as the lost art of conversation— they are all texting. No one is talking. Why are you hanging out together and texting other people or—worse yet—texting each other?
- Don’t start out a text conversation with an emoticon. What do I mean? Okay, I notice a new text message bubbling under your name, and when the text bubble opens up, I see the ‘glass of red wine’ emoji. So, I wait, assuming that more text bubbles will be coming from you—and when they don’t—then, what the hell? What the fuck are you trying to tell me? Are you asking me out for a glass of wine? Are you suggesting we meet up for Happy Hour after work? Are you thirsty and filling me in on what you are doing? Do you have a drinking problem, and this is your way of telling me? Remember, I am not a mind reader, so please, elaborate at least with a few words.
- Sending me 7 subsequent emotions and emojis in one text message doesn’t make me inspect each one of them trying to figure out what you are feeling, what you’re saying, or what you want—it just irritates me. In fact, I am so disinterested by the third emoticon or emoji, that I disregard the rest. 😎 😀 👿 🙂 😳 💡 – See, it’s as annoying as Fuck!!!!
- Okay, we have been texting back and forth, and the text conversation has reached its endpoint. So, when I send a wordless emoticon text to you, in the world of texting, this is my way of hanging up the phone and saying goodbye—and most of the world’s way of ending a text conversation. Please don’t start texting me after that. If you do, you are seriously daft. The only acceptable response text from you, would be to send back an emoticon ending of your own. EMOTICON ENDING!
I hope you enjoyed my silly story! Please check out my book, Where the Dogs Go, it is a funny, witty, sweet story told – from a dog’s perspective – about his life from the time he is born, and his journey through to the other side. It was written for all the dog lovers out there! Please check it out, amazon link below! Kisses and licks y’all! Woof!