Mean Girls of LA

March 1, 2016 / Janell Martin / 2 Comments

I loved Taylor Swift’s Grammy acceptance speech when she won Album of the Year, making her the first woman to ever win this prestigious award two years in a row. Anyone who follows social media knows – that Taylor’s remarks – were directed at Kayne West’s seemingly perpetual tear down of the talented star. While her comments had a purposeful direction, I think that they are wise words of wisdom that could be globally applied to almost anyone who is trying to accomplish something meaningful in their lives. Per Taylor…

People along the way will try to derail you and undercut your success

Focus on the work and don’t let people sidetrack you

And some day, when you get where you are going, and you look around, you will know that it is you and the people who love you that put you there, and that will be the greatest feeling

For some inexplicable reason, the world is full of people who deliberately try to derail your success in life. How you define success, for you, is based on your dreams and your personal aspirations of what you want and what you determine is important for you to achieve in your lifetime: being a good mother; success at your chosen career; turning a passion into a paycheck – it seems that WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS YOU WANT TO DO, there is always someone out there who would rather put you down and intentionally dissuade you from your desired path. In my experience, the biggest derailer of success are MEAN GIRLS, and unfortunately LA is full of MEAN GIRLS.

Tina Fey’s brilliant understanding of adolescent cruelty was ever so accurately portrayed in her film – MEAN GIRLS. It resonated with me, as growing up, I was a kid who was picked on; I painfully remember the mean comments and treatment I received as I had learning difficulties – I am dyslexic – and school was often a challenge for me. We know that kids can be mean, but somehow, I hoped that this adolescent and cruel behavior that crushed my young world, would disappear in adulthood.

SHIT, was I WRONG…

Somehow, even with the Feminist movement that empowered women on so many levels, adult women worldwide are still engaging in destructive MEAN GIRL behavior. Instead of supporting, encouraging, listening, and loving each other, the MEAN GIRLS will try to undermine any weakness they perceive you to have in order to keep you in a place of doubt and insecurity, so that you question yourself on every level.

So, in an effort to surround yourself with great, supportive women, you need to recognize MEAN GIRLS when they latch on to you, and get rid of them before their MEAN GIRL manipulative comments and actions take you down. Unfortunately, spotting MEAN GIRLS is not always easy, because they are often wearing the mask of your friend.

Here are some MEAN GIRLS ‘types’ of comments you may have had slung in your direction over the years. If you can start to recognize the negative, destructive, insecure places from where these comments come, you can get rid of the MEAN GIRLS in your life, and instead draw good energy and positive people into your circle. After all, real friends inspire and support you, they don’t undermine you.

MEAN GIRLS LOVE TO SAY THINGS LIKE…

Oh I love your bag, that brand was popular a few years back…

TRANSLATION…You have no sense of style, or not enough money to buy what’s hot right now…MEAN GIRLS who put down what you wear, or how much money you make or don’t make are bitches. Make sure to…dump their MEAN GIRL ass!

Why can’t I post this? You actually, for once, look better than me in this picture….

TRANSLATION…. You are definitely not as hot as me, and you are lucky to be with me…MEAN GIRLS will try to make you think that they are better looking than you, and will find a way to point it out. You need to understand this is their own MEAN GIRL insecurity, and someone you shouldn’t be around, so you must … dump their MEAN GIRL ass!

Really, you are a size __? Ohhh, oh, okay?

TRANSLATION… You are Fat, or you are definitely Fatter than me, or I want you to think that you are FAT!…MEAN GIRLS love to make your feel insecure about your body, because once you are insecure you are SO much easier to control so you should… dump their MEAN GIRL ass!

Oh no, he wasn’t checking you out

TRANSLATION… That guy would never look at you, and I want to make sure that you doubt your attractiveness, because I would prefer you to have NO self-confidence and NO self-esteem…that way I get all the attention! MEAN GIRLS try steal your thunder, and try to make you feel unlovable. Who needs a friend like this… dump their MEAN GIRL ass!

And Lastly….

Oh you want to be a (fill in your own blank here), you know I only want the best for you, but your chance of success is slim, I just don’t want to see you get hurt…

TRANSLATION…. I think you are delusional, or even if I know you can do it, I don’t want you ever to be better than me, so I am going to make sure you don’t try….MEAN GIRLS will try to stifle your ambitions and desires so you never achieve your own personal success, so you need to say adios and … dump their MEAN GIRL ass!

We all have our bad days when we might behave in a MEAN GIRL fashion – but the real MEAN GIRLS – you need to get them out of your life because they will bring you down. Surround yourself with people who LOVE you, CHERISH you, RESPECT you, and APPRECIATE you and SUPPORT you and your aspirations.

They…are the only ones that count. PEACE OUT!

Check out Taylor Swift’s Grammy Winning Speech, click on the link below…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oxjk-gig7pY

Giant Rock Star

February 3, 2016 / Janell Martin / 8 Comments

#Hollywood Celebrities – Giant Rock Star …..

…as I nuzzled in beside him, close but not so close as to offend this GIANT ROCK STAR of a man, a man who was generous enough to let me have a photo of the two of us, and as his assistant prepared to take our picture, Giant Rock Star grabbed me and pulled me in towards him face forward and planted a big one smack on my lips as his assistant snagged the shot….

CUT TO……the beginning…..

One of my true besties in real life happens to be a Famous Actress, so when she asked me to be her plus one when she was a guest star on Hell’s Kitchen, I jumped at the chance, as – not only do I love spending time with her – but, the offer of a free hot gourmet meal coupled with front row seats to watch Gordon Ramsey scream and terrorize people in person, was… irresistible.

The day of the taping, we arrived and were escorted to the green room – a room fully plied with snacks, drinks and of course alcoholic beverages – where we were mic’d for sound and where we signed binding agreements that any footage or any recorded verbal commentary from us could be used at the discretion of Hell’s Kitchen for basically…. eternity. This quickly led to us forming a pact between us: that we would be careful not to say anything stupid or life altering in any way about each other so as to do irrevocable damage however unintentional – a pact that was sure to be tested with the alcohol that they had already given us to drink.

It was a Rock Star themed night, Famous Actress had been invited to participate because what is a Rock Star, after all, without a gorgeous, hot babe? We recognized several of the Rock Stars in the green room, and happily chatted with them sipping our wine waiting for the taping to begin; me secretly pinching myself that I was hobnobbing a room with these amazing Gods of Rock.

Finally, seated in the Hell’s Kitchen restaurant, enjoying the ambience and perusing the menu, the waiter filled our wine glasses. Normally, Famous Actress and I have no loss of conversation; often talking until our jaws hurt; yet on this night, due to the binding agreements we had just signed, caution was the only thing we were thinking about. And then……we saw him, GIANT ROCK STAR entered the room, making his way to the stage. He hadn’t been waiting in the celebrity drenched green room as GIANT ROCK STAR is such a huge celebrity that he had been safely sequestered in his private trailer until he was needed on stage.

As our appetizers came out, Famous Actress told me that she had first met GIANT ROCK STAR years ago when she presented an MTV music award with him. Later, while they were both traveling in Europe, they crossed paths again. At that time her son was a baby, and GIANT ROCK STAR was so enamored with him that he ended up asking to be named as one of her son’s godfathers. (If I had to guess, he was most likely enamored with HER beauty as well!) His promised appearance had been one of the motivating factors for Famous Actress to agree to appear on this episode of Hell’s Kitchen.

At that point, we were about three quarters of the way through the entrée when the waiter came over to top off our glasses, and I, being a red wine lover said yes, at which point Famous Actress blurted out, “yeah give her more, she’s an alcoholic” and giggled as she said it, thinking she was hilarious in her comment. My face froze like I had done botox injections in places where botox doesn’t go. And remembering we had just signed our lives away, through gritted teeth, I uttered… “I can’t believe you just said that”.

FLASH BACK TO…. two days prior….

Famous Actress had come over to my place and we had ordered in Chinese food and were hanging out. When the food arrived, I offered her some red wine, but she had her vitamin water and was fine with that. Now, I like to drink red wine from a straw when I am at home – not because I am a Canadian country hick – but because I whiten my teeth, and drinking from a straw helps to keep my teeth from staining. Famous Actress made no comment about the straw, but when she got up to get some water from the fridge, and opened it up and saw twenty bottles of white wine stacked chilling on the shelves, she couldn’t contain herself and said, “Hon, are you okay? You are drinking wine through a straw and you have enough wine in there to choke a horse.” I laughed and told her the wine was for my friend’s baby shower and my part was supplying the wine, and explained my straw fetish so as to squelch her fears that I had turned into an alcoholic who needed to drink so fast and in such large quantities that a straw was my alternative to an IV drip.

FLASH FORWARD…..back to Hell’s Kitchen….

Okay, so I was now living in my own Hell’s Kitchen worried that Famous Actress’s comment – one, that was truly only funny between us – would not end up on the editing room floor, but rather, be an episode highlight. With both of us on our cautionary tiptoes for the rest of the meal, we still managed to relax and enjoy the rest of the dinner and dessert as Famous Actress had promised to ‘fix’ the ‘alcoholic-comment’ situation after the taping.

At the end dinner, having finished our segment, we decided to retire to the back of the restaurant and hang out at the bar, watching the rest of the taping, as one of the assistant directors had promised to take us back stage and meet Gordon Ramsey in person. As the taping ended and the assistant director started to escort us backstage, GIANT ROCK STAR was also making his exit from the stage and as we were close to crossing paths, Famous Actress gave him a flirty wave to which he replied “I have been waiting for you girls to come up and say hi to me all night.” I had goose bumps as we chatted momentarily with GIANT ROCK STAR, Famous Actress and him catching up, him giving us hugs and kisses before the assistant director pushed us along backstage.

Okay, so meeting Gordon Ramsey was pretty cool in and of itself…but I had just been complimented and hugged and squeezed by GIANT ROCK STAR, and as amazing and interesting as Gordon Ramsey is, GIANT ROCK STAR is…GIANT ROCK STAR! Finally exiting the building, alcoholic comment almost forgotten (almost), we noticed GIANT ROCK STAR was standing outside hanging out with what looked like his assistant. Famous Actress went up to him and after we started a conversation, she asked if she could have a current picture of the two of them to show her son . Feeling like I had nothing to lose, I asked if he would mind if I had a picture as well…..

CUT TO…….introduction….

…..as I nuzzled in beside him, close but not so close as to offend this GIANT ROCK STAR of a man, a man who was generous enough to let me have a photo of the two of us, and as his assistant prepared to take our picture, GIANT ROCK STAR grabbed me and pulled me in towards him face forward and planted a big one smack on my lips as his assistant snagged the shot….

And that was the end of our night, GIANT ROCK STAR had smacked me on the lips and I had the evidence to prove it. As I waited in the car, Famous Actress went as promised to ‘fix’ the ‘alcoholic-comment’ situation; and then, just when I thought the magic was over, a limo slowly crept beside our car…the window rolled down, and GIANT ROCK STAR poked his head out, smiled, looked me in the eyes and waving his fingers one by one, said ‘byyyeee’ as his car drove away.

And that’s is how I met and kissed…….(scroll down…..)

Keep scrolling….

Yep, scroll some more…….

Almost there, its really worth it…….

…….. Steven Tyler…..And all I will say, is …. those lips of his are luscious. Nuff’ said!

http://www.fox.com/hells-kitchen

Power of a Gift

November 23, 2015 / Janell Martin / Leave a comment

Gifts – Birthday Gifts, Christmas Gifts, Hanukah Gifts, Anniversary Gifts, Wedding Gifts, Baby Shower Gifts, ‘I was a bad boy’ Gift – our culture is ‘gift’ obsessed. Even advertisers have lured us in to buying shit we don’t need with their ‘free gift with purchase’ sale. I seriously wait until Lancome has their ‘free gift with purchase’ as I love their eye makeup remover, but I don’t use any of their other products. Nevertheless I love getting a gift – a free gift at that – so I choose my free eye cream and skin combo, my color of make-up bag, the eye shadow I want, and which lip gloss I think I will like – and end up giving it all away.

We all love receiving gifts (don’t lie, you do!) but giving them can be a pain the ass. The pressure of having to buy a gift can be a burdensome task, especially if you wait until the last minute. And, as we approach the holiday season, with Thanksgiving right around the corner, I am starting to see the Black Friday ads enticing shoppers to get up at the crack of dawn, stand in line in likely cold early morning temperatures, to hopefully be one of the lucky first 2 people to land a great deal on a much wanted holiday gift ‘something or other’. The Black Friday advertising also reminds us that Christmas is only blah blah days away, and you only have so many pressure-filled days to find that perfect gift for everyone on your holiday list.

Personally, I try to play ‘eye spy with my little eye’ year round when it comes to buying gifts. I love to give people a gift that I think they will truly love, instead of a desperation-last-minute-pressure-bought gift. Also, as a single girl on a budget, I can find amazing gifts for my friends and family if I keep my eyes open all year long, and try to find marvelous gifts –on sale – which I hope they will love. A gift that I also had better love, because, if the recipient doesn’t like the gift, I can’t return it, so I have to make sure that it is also something that works in my wardrobe, condo, car, whatever – you get the picture.

So is the tradition of giving gifts just an annoyance? Has it just become a commercialized-nightmare- hellish-ordeal for every single possible celebratory holiday that there is out there? Is there any real magic or power in gift giving?

As we prepare for our Thanksgiving holiday with our families and friends this week, I am reminded of the power of a gift………….

POWER OF A GIFT: Is one person’s treasure is another person’s crap?!?

Almost two years ago, one of my closest friends decided to leave LA and move back home to be with her family. I was terribly sad to see her move, because, on top of leaving LA, she was also leaving the U.S.A. and heading to a country that would literally take her a half way around the world.

As hard as it was for her to leave, it was even harder for her to have to abandon many of her treasured possessions’, as the cost of shipping was atrocious. As she sorted out her life, one that she had accumulated for 15 years in Los Angeles, packing what she could and selling what she could, she was still left with several items that she deemed were too ‘special’ for her to sell, or too ‘difficult or expensive’ to ship, so she decided to give them away to us, her cherished friends.

I remember the call I got from her, her excited to tell me that I was to be bequeathed with some of her ‘special items’, and when could we get together so she could give them to me? I remember thinking at the time, ‘Oh my God’, and ‘Shit I am going to be stuck with her crap’ and ‘UGH’. I tried to fain excitement but really, I was irritated that I was going to be stuck with someone else’s ‘junk’.

I am not the person who likes to go to garage sales, and I don’t like to rummage through secondhand clothing stores. I like new things – more specifically, new things on sale. The two exceptions being quality antique furniture, and estate jewelry, as hand-crafted wood and sparkly bobbles are always welcome gifts. So all I could think of was ‘geez, what the fuck am I going to do with her crap?’ My place isn’t very big, and I was stressing about where to put her, what I perceived was going to be, ‘her precious pieces’ that would become – my clutter.

The day of the big exchange, I went to her place to pick up my new ‘treasures’, and walked into her apartment to find a section, cordoned off, with my name written on the top. There was a large Chinese vase – that stood 3 feet tall and 1 foot wide, 3 small antique perfume bottles, a Chinese bowl, a black cashmere wrap, and a pink-bedazzled bottle of water with Paris Hilton’s picture plastered on the front – one that she had received at a party she went to at Paris Hilton’s house years ago……

I wasn’t quite sure what to say. She was giving me things that actually went with my decor and ones she knew I most likely would like. I have a very Asian inspired home, so even though the vase was large, I knew it would mix fine with my antiques. The bowl I knew would look great on my table. The perfume bottles would work themselves in with the small collection of antique perfume bottles that I already had. The cashmere wrap, was, well, a cashmere wrap. I sat and listened to her tell me the story of every piece, where she got it, or who gave it to her, why it was a treasured piece, why she was bequeathing it to me, all in great detail I will add. The only piece I protested was the Paris Hilton bottled water from five years prior, as I had to be honest with her – that one, would likely end up getting tossed as stale water was not something I wanted to have – even with pretty Paris’s picture on it.

She was teary eyed as we loaded the pieces into my car, sad to see them go. But she said she knew what a cautious neat-freak I was and knew I would take good care of her treasured pieces. She trusted me with her treasures, and I felt terrible for having ever been annoyed.

And now, with her gifts carefully placed around my condo, I think of her every single time I look at the vase, or at the bowl, or at the perfume bottles, or wear the wrap. There is a little piece of her wherever you look in my place. And I treasure them, as I treasure her; Beautiful gifts that remind me of the wonderful gift of friendship that she has and continues to give me.

Soooo…….

Heading into this holiday season, when you are thinking about getting ready to shop for gifts, remember that a thoughtful, personal gift – even if it is a pain in the ass to find, and even if it costs more or less than you wanted to spend, or even if you have to take the time to make it yourself – a personal thoughtful gift will be a treasured gift by the recipient, and a reminder of you. And that my friends, is what a gift is all about. A reminder that you care, like, or love someone to give them a gift from the heart.

Love this Chinese Vase!

Cashmere Wrap- for those ‘chilly’ LA nights!

Beautiful Asian Bowl…

S.A.D. – Valentine’s Day

February 11, 2015 / Janell Martin / 2 Comments

So Cupid, where the fuck are you? Where is my Valentine? I have been patiently waiting for what seems like FOREVER for you to shoot your arrow at a target that is meant for me. I mean, I know that there are over 25 million people living in Los Angeles and I guess that keeps you pretty busy, but how long can one girl wait? (Never mind the World – we are self-absorbed in LA) And now that day, that dreaded day where I am painfully reminded, that day – S. A. D. – Single Awareness Day – aka Valentine’s Day – that your heart shaped arrow has still not pierced my destined beloved’s heart…….is upon us.

It doesn’t matter where you live, when Single Awareness Day hits, you are painfully reminded that you are alone and not in love. It doesn’t bother me that much the rest of the year as Los Angeles is a city where it is easy to be single; there are so many single people of all ages and there is such a variety of things to do, but on Valentine’s Day when other girls are getting flowers, candy, and buying new lingerie for their big Valentine’s Day date night, all I can say is it sucks. It sucks, it sucks badly.

So in order to survive Valentine’s Day and not fall into a mild depression and wallow in loneliness, here are my 24 hours survival tips for all the single girls out there to help keep this day in perspective:

REMEMBER….Never cry or lament about the one or ones that got away……REALIZE they are ex- boyfriends for a reason. Hey, you are waiting for you soul mate to come in, and cupid’s getting around to you, he is just waiting for a qualified candidate.
REMEMBER…Never google or try to find an ex-boyfriend on Facebook on S.A.D…..REALIZE that the chance that your ‘ex-Prince Charming’ has gotten fat, bald and ugly is about the same percentage as that he is hotter than ever, drivers a Ferrari and is married to an uber babe. NOT worth the risk!
REMEMBER…When you think about all those happy couples having that ‘over-priced-set-menu’ dinner that the restaurants impose on days like this…… REALIZE that many of those ‘hand -holding –men’ are fantasizing about what lingerie their mistress or girlfriend is going to wear for them later!
REMEMBER …Not everyone who is celebrating Valentine’s Day is actually in a happy contented relationship…… REALIZE you are waiting for true love and NO partner is way better than the wrong partner.
REMEMBER…That you don’t have to spend money on a gift for ‘him’, instead REALIZE you can take that money and buy yourself whatever you want. Some of my best gifts are my gifts to me, and wouldn’t you rather really have a ‘me gift’ than some ‘skanky-hoe-inspired-ill-fitting- lingerie’ that your guy picked out for you that you are now forced to wear?

So…instead of wallowing in your S.A.D. state this day make plans to have a fun night with your puppy (who will always be your best date); or have a single friend come over and drink wine and pig out; or maybe order in a special dinner for yourself….whatever you do, just be happy because happiness brings good energy to you… SO ENJOY YOUR DAY! Why waste a day being miserable about something you don’t have RIGHT now, instead embrace all the LOVE that you do have…it is there, everywhere…just look!

Get your S.A.D. on…buy yourself lingerie, flowers and candy…personal fav Macaroons!

Get some new lingerie…why the hell not!

WheatFieldstoWonderland

A Canadian Girl's Tips To Remaining Sane In The Upside Down World Of Hollywood

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