WINE RELATIONSHIPS – 15 Reasons Why They Work!
WINE …I love WINE! Anyone who knows me for five minutes knows that… I… love…WINE! Can you blame me? Even Jesus loved his WINE for Christ’s sake! In a city like Hollywood, WINE – like actors – can simulate many roles: your friend, your therapist, your playmate, your liquid courage, your meditation guru, – WINE can play multiple parts – very successfully I will add.
So is it any wonder that many single people out there – in cities like Los Angeles and Hollywood – find that hanging out with WINE is easier than the energy that goes into finding a relationship? Sometimes the effort and cost it takes to get ‘date ready’ to spend another evening, where you end up so miserable, that you want to shoot yourself in the head half way through your ‘dinner date’ – makes you regret not staying home, alone, with your WINE!
Plus, there are the single people out there, who are so worn down after been tussled about in a bad relationship, that the mere thought of entering the ‘relationship playing field’ again, has them sequestered safely to the sidelines. And in these cases, staying home and hanging out with WINE seems perfectly fine.
Therefore, in order to avoid the – drama, miscommunication, rollercoaster-emotional-ride, personal baggage, energy and effort it often takes to enter the relationship waters; some Men and some Women prefer WINE! And here are their reasons why…
15 Reasons MEN prefer WINE Relationships (as a footnote, any alcohol will do!)
- You can never get bored with WINE, it comes in a variety of colors and flavors.
- The more you hang out with WINE, the better looking you get.
- WINE enjoys and appreciates watching a good sporting event with you.
- WINE thinks your jokes are funny, and doesn’t make fun of you when you laugh at your own jokes.
- WINE doesn’t expect you to be a big time spender, and isn’t pissed when you get it on the sales rack.
- WINE doesn’t care what you wear; you are always dressed fine for WINE.
- WINE thinks it’s cool if you belch and doesn’t even notice when you fart.
- WINE doesn’t get mad at you when make remarks like it is ‘empty’.
- WINE thinks its a compliment when you say that WINE is full-bodied.
- WINE likes to be referred to as ‘Vintage‘.
- WINE doesn’t get mad if you fall asleep on WINE.
- WINE doesn’t complain about having to downsize, and is perfectly content being poured into a smaller flask.
- WINE doesn’t mind being shared with chocolate, or even with chocolate and cheese, WINE is open to all sorts of adventures.
- WINE doesn’t accuse you of cheating when you check out other WINES that look interesting.
- WINE never whines or nags you about ANYTHING!
15 reasons WOMEN prefer WINE Relationships (as a footnote, in the case of women, the only substitution for WINE worth mentioning is…. Champagne)
- WINE loves to listen to you talk, and talk and talk and talk and talk.
- WINE loves taking a bubble bath with you, and doesn’t complain if you want to spend hours in the tub!
- WINE doesn’t even mind hanging out while you soak in Epson salts.
- WINE is patient and enjoys watching you try on multitudes of outfits before you head out.
- WINE likes it when you are wearing your comfy Target PJ’s as WINE knows it’s a sign that WINE will have more quality time with you.
- WINE will happily watch Lifetime or Bravo with you.
- WINE likes all of your friends; and knows that more friends mean more WINE.
- WINE doesn’t complain if you want to sleep with your puppy, WINE is just happy to be part of your life.
- WINE thinks your ‘Scrunchie look’ is cute!
- WINE loves to go dancing with you, and can be your best friend on the dance floor.
- WINE doesn’t get mad because you flirt; WINE actually incites you to be flirtier.
- WINE is never late, WINE never stands you up.
- WINE builds up your confidence and never makes you feel insecure.
- WINE doesn’t make you cry; but when you do, WINE comforts you.
- WINE makes you feel warm from the inside out, without the risk of getting an STD.
And in case you are wondering, 5 reasons science says to go ahead and drink Wine!