CUPID …need I remind you of the lyrics to Sam Cooke’s ‘oldie but goodie’ song appropriately titled, in your honor, I will add…‘CUPID’? The first verse really says it all:
CUPID, draw back your bow
And let your arrow go
Straight to my lover’s heart for me, for me
CUPID, please hear my cry
And let your arrow fly
Straight to my lover’s heart for me
It appears that you, CUPID, you cute-chubby-little-cherub – who, by LA standards would be verging on fat, and whose name I sometimes want to change from CUPID to Stupid – has once again been too damn busy to take the time to grab one of those heart shaped arrows out of your sack and aim it at some guy – a hell of a lucky guy, I will add – for me. I mean really CUPID, what do I need to do?
CUPID… you have been part of ALL of our lives for a long time. I remember being a little girl – and spending hours decorating my Valentine’s Day box, getting ready for my elementary class party where I hoped that – not only would I get Valentine’s Day cards from all of my classmates – but that the boy I was crushing on would make a silent declaration of his love for me by giving his biggest, fanciest, store bought Valentine to…me; thus wordlessly proving to me, and the other girls in the class, that his heart was mine. I guess I have always been a romantic, a hopeful romantic; childhood dreams turning into adult wishes for a chivalrous man whose love is meant for me.
So once again, its Valentine’s Day, and CUPID, what do you expect me to do today, February 14th, when I am ‘Single in the City’ on the most romantic day of the year, with no apparent chivalrous man in sight?
Let me fill you in on a little secret, CUPID. On Valentine’s day when you are single – and no matter where you live – a flurry of useless, ridiculous, memories and thoughts plague your mind. Thoughts about memories of loves lost, and memories of unrequited loves. And sometimes this leads to ‘deviant-lonely- single- Valentine’s- Day –social- media- stalking- behavior’, hoping that proof can be found to satiate the mind, thus validating the ‘Thank-God-I-Didn’t-End-Up-With-So-And-So’ tape that is noisily playing in the single person’s head on this day.
And why does a single soul have all this time to spend on this ridiculous ‘I can’t change things even if I wanted to’ kind of thought? Well, CUPID, it’s because wallowing at home – in a world where happy couples are celebrating love at every possible public venue in town – makes solitude in the safety of your own crypt seem like the prudent alternative to what most single people perceive going out tonight to be….social suicide.
So CUPID, Dear CUPID…. I am not sure why are you taking so long to snag me a guy, and I know that I am not alone in asking this question, as singles everywhere today are looking at your image plastered on everything from cards to candies and wondering… where the fuck you are!
I guess CUPID – if you were my mother – then you would be spreading your wings along with sage words telling me things like: the right one will come when he is meant to, and… it’s better to be alone then to be with the wrong person, and… life unfolds as it should….and…Well, even though intellectually I know that all of those wise words are true, I am still left alone today ordering Chinese food and watching Lifetime TV, drinking Cabernet to numb my ‘self-absorbed-I-am-single-pity-party’ for one. Am I really just supposed to listen to the words of my wise elders, and as the Beatles once sang, ‘Let it be?’
So Cupid… in the hope that you won’t hold this story against me and will still pierce my intended’s heart with your arrow, I will retract the ‘stupid CUPID’ comment, and hell, even the ‘fat by LA standards comment’, and will heed what would be your sage words of advice and not let this day get me down, make me sad, or feel alone. Instead, I will keep an open heart, and an optimistic soul, with the hope that whomever is destined to share this world with me, is coming in when the door is open wide enough for one of your arrows to get through.
So therefore, single people of the world….on this day, instead of feeling sad, lonely, or stalking Facebook to see if your ex-boyfriend has become fat and bald…. Use CUPID’s name as inspiration for all the other great things it turns out it stands for…….
CUPID also stands for….
C C stands for the C Food Group – my personal favorite. What, you haven’t heard of it? The C Food Group is completely different from the Basic Five. Rather the C Food Group stands for everything decadent and delicious: Cabernet, Chardonnay, Champagne, Chocolate and Caviar. So on Valentine’s Day indulge in the C group. A LOT! (and as a footnote…everyday)
U U stands for U… So on this day, U need do things to make U happy and embrace the fact that U really only need to consider U! So go shopping and buy something for U! Go to a movie U want to see! Buy your own Valentine’s Day chocolates and get the kind U want! Buy lingerie that U like and makes U feel sexy. U get to make U happy today! Uooo Hoo!
P P stands for People and Puppies…. Just because you aren’t coupled up, there are other people out there who are alone this day; hang out with them goddammit. Have a buddy come over, make your Gusband take you out for dinner, have some girls over for some of the C Food Group, or order pizza for you and your puppy – puppies make the best Valentine’s date because they love you even if your breath stinks and you smells like old farts – they love you regardless.
I I stands for Independence! Remember that you are Independent and can do what you want, when you want, with whom you want, and someday when CUPID’s arrow strikes and you are coupled up, you might longingly remember the days when you had your independence and miss them….so enjoy them now!
D D stands for Dance…Don’t forget to dance goddammit! Dance by yourself in your Risky Business boxers, or Target PJ’s…as the late great David Bowie said… ‘Let’s Dance’! Life is full of joy, and dancing to your own tune will make you happy.
And happiness brings good energy to you, and maybe it’s really happy good energy that makes CUPID’s arrows work! Happy Valentine’s Day Y’all….Party on!
To read the post I did last year for Valentine’s Day, click on the link below…it will make you feel good (I hope) if you are single!
To learn more about Cupid, check on the link below!