I loved Taylor Swift’s Grammy acceptance speech when she won Album of the Year, making her the first woman to ever win this prestigious award two years in a row. Anyone who follows social media knows – that Taylor’s remarks – were directed at Kayne West’s seemingly perpetual tear down of the talented star. While her comments had a purposeful direction, I think that they are wise words of wisdom that could be globally applied to almost anyone who is trying to accomplish something meaningful in their lives. Per Taylor…
- People along the way will try to derail you and undercut your success
- Focus on the work and don’t let people sidetrack you
- And some day, when you get where you are going, and you look around, you will know that it is you and the people who love you that put you there, and that will be the greatest feeling
For some inexplicable reason, the world is full of people who deliberately try to derail your success in life. How you define success, for you, is based on your dreams and your personal aspirations of what you want and what you determine is important for you to achieve in your lifetime: being a good mother; success at your chosen career; turning a passion into a paycheck – it seems that WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS YOU WANT TO DO, there is always someone out there who would rather put you down and intentionally dissuade you from your desired path. In my experience, the biggest derailer of success are MEAN GIRLS, and unfortunately LA is full of MEAN GIRLS.
Tina Fey’s brilliant understanding of adolescent cruelty was ever so accurately portrayed in her film – MEAN GIRLS. It resonated with me, as growing up, I was a kid who was picked on; I painfully remember the mean comments and treatment I received as I had learning difficulties – I am dyslexic – and school was often a challenge for me. We know that kids can be mean, but somehow, I hoped that this adolescent and cruel behavior that crushed my young world, would disappear in adulthood.
SHIT, was I WRONG…
Somehow, even with the Feminist movement that empowered women on so many levels, adult women worldwide are still engaging in destructive MEAN GIRL behavior. Instead of supporting, encouraging, listening, and loving each other, the MEAN GIRLS will try to undermine any weakness they perceive you to have in order to keep you in a place of doubt and insecurity, so that you question yourself on every level.
So, in an effort to surround yourself with great, supportive women, you need to recognize MEAN GIRLS when they latch on to you, and get rid of them before their MEAN GIRL manipulative comments and actions take you down. Unfortunately, spotting MEAN GIRLS is not always easy, because they are often wearing the mask of your friend.
Here are some MEAN GIRLS ‘types’ of comments you may have had slung in your direction over the years. If you can start to recognize the negative, destructive, insecure places from where these comments come, you can get rid of the MEAN GIRLS in your life, and instead draw good energy and positive people into your circle. After all, real friends inspire and support you, they don’t undermine you.
MEAN GIRLS LOVE TO SAY THINGS LIKE…
- Oh I love your bag, that brand was popular a few years back…
TRANSLATION…You have no sense of style, or not enough money to buy what’s hot right now…MEAN GIRLS who put down what you wear, or how much money you make or don’t make are bitches. Make sure to…dump their MEAN GIRL ass!
- Why can’t I post this? You actually, for once, look better than me in this picture….
TRANSLATION…. You are definitely not as hot as me, and you are lucky to be with me…MEAN GIRLS will try to make you think that they are better looking than you, and will find a way to point it out. You need to understand this is their own MEAN GIRL insecurity, and someone you shouldn’t be around, so you must … dump their MEAN GIRL ass!
- Really, you are a size __? Ohhh, oh, okay?
TRANSLATION… You are Fat, or you are definitely Fatter than me, or I want you to think that you are FAT!…MEAN GIRLS love to make your feel insecure about your body, because once you are insecure you are SO much easier to control so you should… dump their MEAN GIRL ass!
- Oh no, he wasn’t checking you out
TRANSLATION… That guy would never look at you, and I want to make sure that you doubt your attractiveness, because I would prefer you to have NO self-confidence and NO self-esteem…that way I get all the attention! MEAN GIRLS try steal your thunder, and try to make you feel unlovable. Who needs a friend like this… dump their MEAN GIRL ass!
- Oh you want to be a (fill in your own blank here), you know I only want the best for you, but your chance of success is slim, I just don’t want to see you get hurt…
TRANSLATION…. I think you are delusional, or even if I know you can do it, I don’t want you ever to be better than me, so I am going to make sure you don’t try….MEAN GIRLS will try to stifle your ambitions and desires so you never achieve your own personal success, so you need to say adios and … dump their MEAN GIRL ass!
We all have our bad days when we might behave in a MEAN GIRL fashion – but the real MEAN GIRLS – you need to get them out of your life because they will bring you down. Surround yourself with people who LOVE you, CHERISH you, RESPECT you, and APPRECIATE you and SUPPORT you and your aspirations.
They…are the only ones that count. PEACE OUT!
Check out Taylor Swift’s Grammy Winning Speech, click on the link below…